Two Plastic Bags

Got Basic Material conference at Claridge's today. Am killing time at Debenham. Bad news all round. Something to cheer all of us up.

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large  plastic garbage bags behind her.  One of the bags was riped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. 

Noticing  this, a  policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag".

"Oh really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find  them. Thanks for telling me officer." 

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.  Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next  to the football stadium parking lot.  On game days, a lot of fans come and pee  through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden.  It used to  really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not  make the best of it?  So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy!  Give me $20, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."